By Silveromen
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Ivan Cockdicker of the U.S. Department of the Study of Killer Clowns. Here is what he had to say.
Silveromen: So tell me, Doc. How did clowns originate on this planet?
Dr. Ivan Cockdicker: Vell, they came to this planet from an astroid that hit zee earth millions of years ago.
S: May I ask why?
Dr: Why, to kill humans, of course! You see, these creatures heard how tasty we were, and they just had to kill our children.
S: I see. Do clowns have sex?
Dr: Oh, dear me, no! Can you imagine that? With the claws, and the fangs.........
S: So..... how do they reproduce?
Dr: Zat is classified information! But I can tell you about their birth. You see, clowns are born into a larval state. They are little miniature versions of themselves. They live in sewers or garbage cans.
S: What do they eat?
Dr: Zee babies eat animal fecies or decaying garbage.
S: Ahhh, shit, that's nasty as hell.
Dr: Vell, yes it is. Of course, this is only temporary. Ven they get older they will form a taste for children's flesh.
S: How did these freaks get into circuses?
Dr: You know, enough with zee questions. Who the hell are you anyway?! Get zee hell out of my lab!