Reviewer: Ray

E-Mail: SerpahX@msn.com

Comments: Ummm... yeah. Where do I begin? First, one must come to terms with the fact that this title had an incredible amount of hype attached to it so I was compelled to pick up a copy and play (call me susceptible to peer pressure). Sue me!

"Alright!" I exclaimed as I read about the person who did the voice of Blasto. It was the late Phil Hartman (RIP Troy McClure, Lionel Hutz) who did it and this was reason enough for this easily-amused gamer to celebrate. After a few hours, "Alright!" turned into "Oh shit! This game suxx my @$$!" The potential with Phil Hartman was dissolved within the first few corny one-liners, causing one to ponder whether Hartman truly died from gunshot wounds or from the sheer embarassment of participating in this pile of regurgetated sperm. Not pleased. No siree.

The graphics, while quirky and sometimes eye-catching. remain flat and lack textures, making the game feel remarkably one-dimensional. Polygon clipping is also present and is a constant nuisance in my efforts to advance. The level design obviously was not planned out very well because of the vague objectives (rescue dem dames and zap aliens, i guess... for the most part) and repetitive obstacles.

Control is rigid at first but one gets used to the atari-esque handling of our good friend Blasto after a while. Whatdya know? I said something good about this game!

To sum up my vantage point, I must say this: Buy it only if you want to own a collection of Phil Hartman's unfunny lines. If you want to have fun, I suggest blowing your balls off with a shotgun instead.

Gameplay: 6

Graphics: 5

Sound: 2

Music: 3

Replay Value: 0

Final Score: 4.5

Reviewer's Note: CONGRATULATIONS BLASTO! YOU HAVE EARNED A SPOT IN RAY'S "I SUCK" LIST!