Now this caught me completely by surprise. I was innocently flipping through a porno mag at my local convenience store, when I saw an ad for hot teddy bear S+M! I'm serious! Here's what the ad said:

"Have you ever felt yourself hot as hell over a teddy bear? How about when you bend down hoping that a big horny grizzly is there to give you a bear hug? Do you feel wet all over when you think of beanie babies? Well, if you do, don't delay. Dial 1-800-HOTHORNYBEARS right now. We have the hottest, most demanding bears on the planet, ready to teach any bad boy or girl a lesson. These bears will do anything, anything your wild dreams can think up. Think about being hand-cuffed to a bear-sized bed, ready to be whipped by Mistress Bearina. Think about rubbing whipped cream all over soft southern-area fur. Think about screwing in a dank dark cave, with only the sound of moans, growls, and snarls. We know you want it. These bears are hot, horny, and ready for more sex than you may be able to "bear." So what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and dial 1-800-HOTHORNYBEARS right now. We're waiting. ROARRRRR!!!!"

My God that was bad. See ya next week!

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