Last night I was innocently reading the Swimsuit Edition of Sports Illustrated in the bathroom when I came upon a very interesting article! It was titled: "Gays in Golf!" Putting my wacking session on hold, I decided to read this promising article. Here's what it had to say:

"There is a new tour in the wide world of golf. It is sweaty, and it is intense. I'm talking about the International PGAY Tour. Some of the world's gayest are cuming in all over to compete in this tour. They'll be using the longest, hardest clubs in the biz, ready to smack some balls right into some deep, sweaty holes. But for this specific tour some rules have been changed. After every hole-in-one made, the player must fuck one of the remaining members of the Village People up the asshole. If a player does not make par, he must give away one of his Barbara Streisand CDs. All golfer's caddies are now required to wear bow ties, slacks, and no shirts. It's an added plus if these caddies are muscular and have enormous cocks. If a player hits a ball into the water, he must give head to any fish, turtles, or amoeba living in the water. Also, there are now 19 holes on each course. Finally, the most significant change in the PGAY Tour is how you score in the first place. You see, gone are the heterosexual holes in the ground that ruined regular golf. Now, players must hit their balls into gay men's assholes. Above you can see one of our holes running all over the course, trying to make it hard for two of our finest, most flaming athletes to score. And if you had guessed it, you're right! On the far right of the photo is indeed none other than PGAY's best, Tiger Woody! Sports Illustrated was able to catch up with Woody right after this event, and he had a lot to say!:

Sports Illustrated: So, what was going through your mind when the 19th hole wouldn't stop running?

Tiger Woody: Well, I really wanted to fuck that guy up the ass. I mean, he was waving that beautiful thing in my face for so long, he was just asking for it. I wasn't gonna let this flamer loose me one of my Streisand CDs. No, I just kept running, and I fucked that guy good, winning last week's tournament.

SI: Are there any tips you can give up and cuming PGAY stars?

TW: Yes. Yes I can. If you want a tip, I'll pull down my pants with the Nike logo on them and stick my tip into your mouth.

SI: Well said Woody.

This writer is greatly looking forward to the next event in the PGAY tour! Look for more information in upcoming issues of SI!"